I’ve been a professional in the mortgage banking industry for 20 years, and as an associate of Capstone Institute of Mortgage Finance, www.capinst.com I have attended my fair share of functions where dining is involved. It’s an understatement to say I am shocked at the number of people in today’s business world who don’t have a clue about proper etiquette. Regardless of how well they are dressed and carry themselves, the lack of proper etiquette can shatter a person’s professional image. There is no excuse for this happening in today’s world. Some may regard this as petty, but something happened over Thanksgiving that provokes me to ask, “Since when is there no time for etiquette during the holidays? How long does it take?” I’d like to share the following true story, as I’m certain there are many who can relate to this situation. Our Thanksgiving get-together included extended family and guests, totaling fourteen hungry folks gathered around the dining room table to consume the feast fit for Royalty. Emily Post would have been proud of how I set the table, the settings of dinnerware, silverware, and stemware in their proper placement with the napkins folded and appointed to perfection. All the hustle and bustle of the day, and standing on my feet for a day and a half, preparing enough to feed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, left me “dog tired,” and unsure which part of my body ached more—my back and shoulders or my feet and legs. I was as hungry as the rest of the gang, patiently waiting in their assigned seats; however, I was still running back and forth to the kitchen to fetch even more delicious dishes I had forgotten were in the warming drawer. The table and four additional serving tables were already overflowing, so I then had to clear a spot in which to place the additional goodies. (Only in America do we as families have too much food—so much food we don’t have room for it all, on the table OR in our bellies. Only in America do we as people assume it is our right to gorge ourselves until we nearly explode, or until there is no more. Only in America do we as families take for granted the privileged lives we lead.) I was certainly proud of the way in which everyone waited until I was seated, and until my husband offered a prayer of Thanksgiving prior to passing the food around the table. The entire setting was the picture of blissful etiquette. The confusion began when one of the guests picked up a dish, served themselves, and then proceeded to pass the serving dish to their left. They also proceeded to pluck, not one or two, but three rolls from the bread basket and stacked them on the bread plate belonging to the party on their right. They then scooped up a big glob of butter, slapped it on the plate next to the rolls, and then sliced the rolls and slathered butter inside of each. In the meantime, I had begun sending the dishes in the proper direction—to the right—but this guest was oblivious to the chaos they were causing and sent another and yet another serving dish in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to embarrass my guest, so I just suggested we all begin passing to the right. Meanwhile, this guest began eating before all the food had been passed, and before I, as the hostess, ever raised my fork to take the first bite—which, of course, is a definite no-no. To make this guest feel more comfortable, my other guests all made a joke about being so hungry and that “it’s Thanksgiving, and there’s just no time for manners and all that etiquette stuff.” The truth be known, that one guest didn’t have a clue about the proper way to serve themselves and pass food along to the next. They were confused about which was their bread plate, so by mistakenly claiming their neighbor’s, it threw off the order of the entire table. To avoid further confusion, we all used our neighbors’ bread plates and went on with our meal. We should all be aware of protocol and the rules of etiquette and apply those rules on a daily basis, especially at holidays. We should be on our best behavior at holiday functions, whether they are family get-togethers or business events. I encourage everyone to familiarize yourselves with dining etiquette before you embarrass yourself, your spouse, your date, or heaven forbid, your boss at a formal affair. Your lack of etiquette could cost you a personal or business relationship, or even your job. There are many books on etiquette and social graces to be found in the library or the internet. You may want to seek the assistance of an expert on image development and etiquette before you use the incorrect fork, put your foot in your mouth, or worse—mistakenly use your neighbor’s bread plate.
A Certified Image Consultant, Mrs. Wofford is a graduate of the London Image Institute and an Associate member of the Assoc of Image Consultants Intl. As an author and speaker, she is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and Toastmasters Intl. Mrs. Wofford is Division Director of Professional Spirit, A Division of Capstone Institute of Mortgage Finance, www.capstoneinstitute.com To receive a copy of “5 Ways to Out-Perform and Outclass Your Competition,” email darlenew@capinst.com directly, or call 770-956-8252 or 800-229
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