Tattling: How to end the tattle battles between children and create peace of mind for you.
"Tattling can be a perfect time to teach
young children critical communication skills."
"Mommy he's looking at me funny." "Oooh Mommy she's picking her nose."
If you are a parent of a child nine or younger, you have probably heard words like those a thousand times, and that's only in the past hour!
Tattling can be so annoying, that it's easy to turn a deaf ear. And why not? Most tattling issues are really pretty unimportant.
But wait! Tattling is not trivial when kids are learning how to relate to one another.
In fact, tattling can be a perfect time to teach young children critical communication skills that will help them their whole life. Many people say tattling is just trying to get someone in trouble, manipulate, or seek revenge. Nothing could be further from the truth.
While kids are sometimes, even frequently, tattling to get their own way, they are often telling you how another child has broken a rule or are worried about something and don't know what to do. They think they are doing the right thing by telling you. Though it may be a minor, even silly, offense in your eyes - something that should be let go, your child is learning important communication skills, and whether to believe you when you set rules.
Yet getting involved in every little squabble your kids have would not only send you to the funny farm, it would make your children totally dependent on you. Not a pretty picture.
A better way . . .
Teach your children how to make decisions and work out certain problems themselves through reporting. If you take the point of view that there is no such thing at tattling, it's all reporting. The question becomes, "What do you report to whom?" Then you can teach your kids key people skills that will help them all throughout their life!
How to Teach Reporting to Your Child
Step one is to explain the different types of reporting to your child.
Types of Reporting:
When someone is
Could get hurt or is in danger - report to an adult
Doing something that bugs you - report it to the child who is bothering you.
Doing something that's not hurting anyone and not really a problem for anyone- report it to yourself
Once you have the basics down, the next step is to calmly and kindly work with your child over several weeks until he or she understands the differences, and has developed the communication skills needed to report effectively.
It may take some effort at first, but you will be thrilled by the results.
Many parents are tempted to give their children a "No Tattling" rule, or tell them the only time they should speak up is when someone might be hurt. This this can put your child in harm's way as one teacher found out. To find out more go to http://www.lululearns.com
For a charming story that will teach your child the principles of reporting in a fun way please go to http://www.lululearns.com
Pam Golden is an author, educator, parent, and grandparent. As an elementary school consultant, she has worked with over 15,000 children, 700 teachers, and too many parents to count.
As a parent, and grandmother herself, she understands how difficult it is to raise children in today's world. Having gone through a crisis with her own daughter, she found proven child rearing methods to be critically important.
Because she so strongly believes parents love their children and want the best for them, she has dedicated herself to providing parents and teachers with proven methods for helping children be the best they can be.
In her desire to share that information she and her co-author wrote: "I Can Do It! How to Help Children Have a Can Do Attitude About Life" which shows parents six skills for developing a Can Do Attitude.
