Many parents decided not to tell their children about their conception, and if they do, they don’t include all of the details. Parents all have skeletons in the closet and are scared to confront them. But by lying to the child, what effect will this have on them should they find out the truth? What ever happened to honesty is the best policy? And not only that, but trusting your child enough to tell them the truth lets them know that you really love them; your telling a secret that no one else knows.
It’s a fact of life; we all want to know how we got here and where we came from. We all want to feel loved, like we were actually wanted and not just some fluke of an accident. By holding out on children of surrogacy, you are causing them more damage then might intend to.
If a child should ever learn about the rigorous process to get them here, they might become depressed, act out or even try to commit suicide. No one ever considers the children in the matter, everyone believes that the children won’t remember anything; their too young right?
The truth of the matter is, it’s becoming more and more evident that babies form bonds with their mothers/ carriers before birth. I don’t know if it was Gods way of giving us peace, or just biology that makes this possible, but either way, babies do know.
I’ve read so many blogs of those of people who are surrogate children and you wouldn’t believe the effect that this has had on them and their life. Most of these surrogate children or children derived from surrogacy, feel like aliens in our world. They face feelings of abandonment, neglect and being alone in the world. The constantly live in denial about their life and fight with the urge that they don’t belong anywhere; to them they face grief that they try to hide. Surrogate children have identity and self esteem issues that plague them their entire lives.
Surrogate children could have had the best parents in the world, been loved and cared for so deeply, but still feel a hole emotionally. There’s no way to describe the hole, other than emptiness.
Throughout the course of their whole lives these surrogate children have to live with a feeling of knowing that somehow they just don’t fit in anywhere. They walk around looking at people with a watchful eye, carefully looking at details of everyone they meet, wondering if they look like that person; not ever knowing why their wondering it.
Finally after the surrogate children discover the truth, their earth comes crashing down on them. The reality that they knew something was off, but didn’t know what, gets to them. The quicksand grabs by their ankles and slowly pulls them under, and then they realize, they knew the truth from the very beginning.
Many parents who hide the truth also keep the surrogate mother out of the surrogate child’s life because it’s usually easier to hide the truth from family and friends and even the child. This only creates problems later on the surrogate child’s life.
For the life of a child, be honest and don’t be scared to hide the truth from them, they deserve to know the truth and to have some kind of say about things concerning their lives. Giving them the gift of life is only the beginning in giving them the world.
Source: http://www.ArticlePros.com/author.php?Karen Summers
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