Children of Divorce - Legal and Emotional Implications
Over a period of time the love between marital partners might lessen, but parental love for the children continues undiminished. Both parents love the children deeply - a bond that only grows stronger with age. Children too, need the love of both parents to develop into healthy individuals.
Circumstances take a bad turn if the declining love between parents were to translate into a divorce. Where would the children stay if their beloved mother and father were to stay in two separate houses? In the UK, the courts decide such issues in the best interests of the children. Child custody, visitation rights and support are thus decided with the child’s interests in mind.
Child Custody – The Legal and Emotional Implications
So vital is this issue, that the UK courts require the petitioner of the divorce to present the petition along with a filled in ‘statement of arrangement for the children. This statement contains direct questions pertaining to the number of children in the family, their age, their school and residential arrangements after the divorce. However, at the time of petitioning, these matters are yet to take a concrete shape and remain in the fluid form of discussions. If the petitioner states that the children were to remain with the mother with regular visits by the father, the courts don’t disagree. Gradually, both the spouses work out an agreement that ensures effective co-parenting.
Usually, the primary care giver for the children retains the custodial rights. The problem arises when one of the spouses adopts an uncompromising stance and refuses to allow the father to meet the children. Such cases are presented in the court and the parents’ battle for child custody. Ultimately one parent wins the fight, but winning would be devoid of joy for the high level of conflict would have left their mark on the children.
Children who witness the high conflict of their parents become disobedient, have low self esteem and indulge in antisocial behaviour. This set in motion a negative cycle. Disobedience invokes harsh disciplinary measures which further affects them. This pain gets compounded when parents absorbed in their own conflict fail to give them enough time. The other issues of child visitation and support are equally harmful and might finally lead them to depression.
Child Visitation and Support – The Legal and Emotional Issue
The law of the UK states that dependant children stay with one parent while the other parent regularly visits them. The time and duration of visitation are decided amicably. Though the non custodial parent does not reside with the children, he is expected to pay child support amount regularly. This maintenance money is calculated by the child support agency (CSA), a UK government executive body. The CSA calculates the amount taking into account the net income of the parent, the existing children from the present marriage and the number of children in the previous relationship.
Though both these issues appear innocuous, they affect the children badly if the non custodial parent fails to abide by the decisions reached. Failed promises regarding visitation is perceived by children as lack of love. Similarly, non payment of support money lowers their standard of living. They get relocated to smaller dwellings and different schools. It is difficult for them to handle the changes associated with a poorer neighbourhood or finding new friends in school.
Defaulting non custodial parents are a major cause for concern in the UK. In Nottingham alone, over £ 34 million is yet to be paid. While one in every third parent defaults in the payment of child support money in Northern Ireland.
Many proposals are being considered to make the defaulting parent pay up. One of them aims at naming such parents on the internet. Such acts might have the effect of shaming the parent, but how could the sufferings of the children be allayed.
Children are the future generation. It is necessary that their proper upbringing is ensured by absence of parental conflict in their lives. Non custodial parents should also take care to perform their responsibilities well. Otherwise their divorce could have disastrous effects on their beloved offspring.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed <a href="http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk">divorce</a> see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
