Divorce is certainly not a healthy development for human civilisation as a whole. So how can the divorce rate be reduced and brought to normal levels? How can marriages be made enduring and more successful? How can the partners reconcile their differences and strengthen the relationship? Check out the following tips.
Don’t Battle His Ego: All men have an ego – either more or less – and they like to assert their will at home. They love to feel that they have the final say in crucial matters and their wives and children will ultimately defer to their wisdom in life-changing decisions. Women should understand this quality inherent in the personality of every man and not do anything to challenge or suppress the basis of his manhood.
Stay Faithful: Marriage is a relationship that rests on the foundation of mutual trust between the partners. Rarely does a marriage manage to survive intact if this trust gets broken. The modern lifestyle is such that it is much easier to develop romantic interests outside marriage. One has to guard against the proverbial seven-year itch as any such misadventure is a sure-shot way of getting divorced.
Don’t Interfere in Each Other’s Domain: Personal freedom of the partners within the ambit of the relationship is very important if the marriage has to be successful. The right of each partner to take decisions that affect him or her deeply has to be respected. Otherwise the relationship becomes claustrophobic and the spiritual growth of the partners is stunted.
Respect Each Other’s Decisions: The partners should be liberal and have a hands-off attitude toward each other’s personal decisions regarding job, eating habits, clothes, hobbies and so on. Constantly criticising your partner or trying to impose your will on him or her is a strict no-no, as it will generate resentment and would make the relationship weak.
Have Regular Sex: Copulating with an individual of opposite sex is a basic human need. Having regular sex goes a long way in strengthening the foundation of marriage. Sex is not only a good workout, the hormones released during love-making are essential for one’s emotional well-being. Absence of an active sex life is a leading cause of wrecked marriages.
Give Emotional Support: Marriage is much more than merely two partners living together and having sex in a socially accepted relationship. While sex is important, what is even more essential is the emotional support and intimacy that the partners give each other. Life is full of many ups and downs. We humans are vulnerable by nature and seek a shoulder to lean on from those who are close to us. Emotional nourishment and support is essential for the long-term success of a marriage.
Control Your Anger: Anger is something that is good neither for the family nor for the partners. This is a negative emotion that can be extremely caustic and devastate a healthy relationship. Living with a perpetually angry spouse is not a pleasant experience and the suffering partner and children may develop several psychosomatic disorders. Many people cannot take it any more and walk out of the marriage.
Don’t Monopolise Finances: Adequate financial resources are essential to make the family function smoothly. Each member has many personal needs and wants that cannot be fulfilled without money. Many insecure people have the tendency to monopolise all income and then deny even reasonable expenses of everybody else, while they build up savings over which they have total control. Starving your family members of money contributes a great deal to destroying the relationship.
Fulfil Your Family Obligations: Marriage is a relationship which by tradition lays down clear-cut responsibilities and obligations for both the partners with a view to ensuring division of labour. The woman takes care of household chores and bringing up the kids, while the man provides physical security to the family and goes out to bring home the bacon. A marriage can be successful if both the partners fulfil their familial obligations with sincerity and in all seriousness.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: The biggest asset you can bring to a marital relationship is forgetfulness. You should be ready to forgive small mistakes of your partner and not make everything an ego issue. Giving the freedom to make mistakes to your partner in day-to-day living goes a long way in strengthening the relationship’s foundations.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie <a href="http://www.quickie-divorce.com">Divorce</a> see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
