Economic liberation has meant financial independence for women and they are no longer dependent on men-folk to bring home the meat. They are now quite capable of taking care of themselves and the children. The social freedom women have gained in recent years has ensured that they have a choice to wriggle out of martial relationships in which they are feeling trapped. Add to this the shift toward nuclear families, rise of individualism and a declining birth rate, and you have a potent recipe for a steadily climbing divorce rate. In the US, for example, about half of all marriages end in divorce! But, despite the popularity and ease of getting a divorce, it still remains one of the most unfortunate and distressing experiences of one’s life. This is because it is much more than a mere parting of company for two individuals. It has a deep psychological and emotional dimension that leaves sensitive individuals stressed out or even scarred for years. Divorce disturbs mental poise of couples. Men or women facing divorce proceedings carry their emotional trauma around with them. It becomes most damaging when it starts to affect their professional lives. It is a two-fisted blow – their personal life already scarred for a long time, bad performance at office begins to compromise their earning capacity too. The most common emotional problem faced by anyone going through divorce is depression. People lose interest in day-to-day life as they are hit by shock and a feeling of betrayal and being let down by an individual with whom they shared an intimate and intensely personal relationship. “Why and how did things come to such a pass?” is the common question they ask of their own selves. There is a complete lack of enthusiasm for any activity and they feel lethargic and drained of all energy. It is only a matter of time before the realisation of being alone hits them. It is difficult to adjust to a cold and lonely life after losing the warm feelings of intimacy and mutual dependence in relation to another individual. The worst thing to face for anyone undergoing divorce is the separation from children who used to animate the entire house with their presence. Many partners fiercely fight for the custody of kids so that at least in this regard, life continues as usual and the pain of separation is limited to the partner. It is a blow to the self-esteem of most people that an individual who shared many close moments with them and supported them through thick and thin would consciously want to break all ties with them permanently on the authority of the law. This combined feeling of hurt and rejection is very difficult to overcome and may, in extreme cases, give way to self-loathing. With divorce, there is also the loss of a structured lifestyle. The familiar schedule governing day-to-day life gets uprooted. One has to start all over again and relearn to live as a bachelor, taking care of all household chores. The earlier luxury of division of labour between husband and wife is no longer there – for women, there is no one who would pick them up from work; for men, there is no one to do the laundry. Finances take a knock and the spending power plunges overnight. As their lawyers discuss division of marital assets, the partners brace up to pay the hefty legal fee and often there is financial insecurity for both. With so much emotional baggage arising out of a divorce, is it any wonder that it affects your work and proves a setback to your work productivity? Divorce-related depression and stress saps your will to excel and compete in the cut-throat atmosphere of the workplace. You lose the drive that fuelled your performance previously and kept you going. Depressed employees slow down visibly in their work and develop short attention spans. In the middle of work, they often slip into their own thoughts. Since the mind is devoid of animation and activity, creativity goes for a toss. The mental spring from which originated unique ideas to solve work-related problems begins to dry up due to a lack of intellectual nourishment. The behaviour of depressed employees worsens and they often become irritable with colleagues. This can be quite serious if a performance appraisal is just around the corner. The new found bachelor status of employees undergoing divorce proceedings forces a change in lifestyle. They are reluctant to stay after office hours – for men, it is a desire to reach home early and take care of household chores such as cooking while women want to be with their children sooner and relieve the babysitter. Financial pressure arising out of lawyer’s fee and division of marital assets creates dissatisfaction with current earnings. This pushes many workers undergoing divorce to look for greener pastures where they can increase their income to meet the looming expenses and rebuild their assets. One of the negative fallouts that workers undergoing divorce have to bear is the loss of face or embarrassment in front of office colleagues. Today’s social norms put divorced people at lower pedestal than married ones because the latter are considered happier and “normal.” Divorce is an unspoken declaration of failure and inadequacy in personal life and causes social embarrassment among one’s peers. The psychological blow arising out of divorce seriously affects work performance. If the situation continues for a long time, it has the potential to seriously harm one’s career.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed <a href="http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk">divorce</a> see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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