Causative Factors for Infidelity
- Long term ill health of the spouse, an empty nest syndrome, or similar other stressful events lead some people to find solace through extramarital affairs.
- Affairs outside marriage also helps people fill in certain voids of their personalities. Low self confidence, fear, or other such inadequacies are sought to be covered through infidelity.
- Some people believe in gender superiority, or their right to have affairs outside marriage. However, the numbers of people belonging to this group are marginally small.
- Sexual addiction is another causative factor.
- Among these reasons, an unhappy marriage is an easily discernable cause for infidelity. Whatever be the causative factor, discovering the unfaithfulness of a spouse shakes the very foundation of a marriage. Aggrieved partners often testify the experience to be worse than death. The pain is intense, for, being cheated by a loved one and constantly lied to is being subjected to deception in its worst form. The affected spouse should first make attempts at surviving infidelity before deciding upon the next course of action. Surviving Infidelity
Infidelity of the marital partner erodes the self confidence of the affected spouse. The person also experiences a gamut of emotions ranging from confusion, to deep grief and anger. All attempts should concentrate towards regaining peace of mind. Going on a vacation or indulging in hobbies help divert the mind and promote relaxation.
Having a good diet and exercising regularly are necessary to think clearly in such agonising situations. Being mentally and physically fit is a must, for this is the time when the most important decisions determining the future of the marital life are taken.
Many people may not be inclined to believe, but, prayer does prove to be the source of much needed strength in times of need.
The infidel acts of the partner fills one with shame and people find it difficult to reveal it to family and friends. Though they are not responsible for the adulterous acts of the spouse, they suffer from a sense of guilt and shame. It is difficult to try dealing with the pain all alone. Help from reliable sources is a must. Friends or counsellors not only support but advice well in such troubled times. Coming to Terms with Infidelity All infidel couples do not terminate their marriage. The causative factors that lead the spouse into extra marital affairs determine whether the marriage could be saved and the spouse forgiven.
- Infidelity caused by the sexual addiction of the spouse can be forgiven. Such problems can be dealt with in the doctor’s clinic rather than the divorce courts.
- Unhappy marriages should be worked upon by both the partners. This would elicit faithfulness from the partner in the future.
Marital partners who are prepared to forgive the spouse and start afresh should remember that forgiving the spouse is not a one time process. The infidel acts should not be remembered or reminded whenever conflicts arise. The spouse has to be forgiven every time one remembers the past. Forgiving the spouse also includes reposing trust once again and not creating emotional barriers. Divorce vs. Coming to Terms with Infidelity People who derive pleasure from sexual conquests induced by a belief of gender superiority cannot be pardoned. Neither is it possible to accept habitual offenders. Such people regularly cheat to cover up their affairs and take undue advantage of the forgiving nature of the spouse. Such partners eliminate love from a marriage. Divorce is the only solution that prevents the faithful spouse from suffering repeatedly with the discovery of every new adulterous affair. Some couples come to terms with infidelity. They believe that only sexual and not emotional intimacy is infidelity. But, emotional relationships also entail disastrous consequences. Men indulge more in the sexual infidelity while women gravitate towards emotional affairs. However, errant spouses can be forgiven and marriages can be worked upon to make it a success. But, habitual offenders are best divorced.
Source: http://www.ArticlePros.com/author.php?James Walsh
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