These are all aberrations, in some way or the other, to a normal way of life. But what if life is itself thrown out of gear? Perhaps, going overboard is the best way to ‘normalize’ things then. Divorce is one such crisis after life runs off sync, and some amount of effort is needed to make the music return.
The Choices
So you are suddenly alone now. If your spouse has left the hole in your heart gaping enough, but if the children have also left, then the emptiness can be just unbearable. You had built a golden cage with love, time, money and a lot of effort. Now all the birds have flown the coop, and you are all alone in the huge cage. After that, you have to pick yourself up, because the show insists on going on, and God is in no mood to listen to your complaints all the time. You have to do something yourself now so that the way back to life is manageable. And this is where the question of choice comes in. Broadly speaking, there are only two choices- constructive and destructive. There is a path where you destroy a lot of things, including a good deal of your bank account, and perhaps your health too. The other path requires a lot of effort on your behalf, but you end up acquiring something, creating something out of nothingness.
The Destructive Way
This is definitely the more attractive way of managing life after divorce. Let us look at some of the most common choices.
- Bad Habits: A good part of the divorced UK population is drowning its sorrows in the pub every day. Nothing is more depressing as a drunk man or woman spewing out all the hidden grief of a divorce in a bout of the typical crying jag. Binge drinking is a threat for us now, but those who are involved simply feel that it is the easiest way out. In fact, ease is the catchword of the destructive way to rehabilitate oneself. It is equally easy to let the bitterness go up in fumes as you smoke through cigarettes, drugs, or any of those harmful piles of combustible substances that do sad things to your lungs. You can also sniff, inject, puff or inhale your incredibly easy way to doom.
- Lifestyle Changes: In a way this is as easy as drinking or drugs. Of course, one of the favourite terms doing the rounds of consumer and lifestyle circuits is ‘retail therapy’. The idea is to go to a huge retail centre and splurge till the shopping bags are spilling over your arms and you have stuffed yourself so full of junk food that the sight of a burger is enough to make you sick. You can give your home a makeover, with money rather than tastefulness as the priority in buying the new furnishings. You could buy yourself a showy wardrobe that you would be too ashamed to wear, pairs of useless shoes, expensive perfume that you really cannot wear to office – and that’s the only place you are visiting now.
- The Binge Factor: There are other toys – brightly colored cars, a tour to Europe or the Far East, or incredibly designer gadgets. This is all part of the binge you are on, and you need not be a drunk for this. In fact, you can still remain perfectly ‘respectable’, in all eyes except your own.
- The Internet: This is the escapist’s paradise. At very little cost, you can be anyone you want to be, and get to meet fascinating people who may also be non-existing. There are those who go for a more wholesome use of these facilities. But there are the gamers who do not want to drop a joystick even for having a bath, and those who become insomniac through prowling chat rooms.
The Constructive Way
This does not need much elaboration. It is just that balance that you need to strike amidst all the balance. The day you enjoy shopping, drink for fun and not to get drunk, buy jewellery you can really wear – you are healed. Get into a fitness regime, take up hobbies, go dating, surf the net – but don’t shy away from facing yourself. That way, you can avoid another pitfall of the heart.
Source: http://www.ArticlePros.com/author.php?James Walsh
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