There is hope that recovering codependents can have healthy fulfilling relationships. Once you accept your codependency and start work on your own life and yourself, you can begin building or rebuilding relationships with others.
Never feel stuck in a relationship. Don’t stay stuck because of fear, guilt, shame or inferiority. Have the confidence to realize that you are worthy of good things and better conditions. Don’t surrender your power to another. When you surrender your power, you surrender your true self. You then become a victim of your circumstances. Look deep within you and find your own inner answers.
You must nurture both your relationships and yourself. You can gain insight from past relationships. You can grow and not make the same mistakes again. You can learn to respect, accept and have patience within your relationships. You can learn to forgive and learn tolerance. You can learn that nobody is perfect, not others and not yourself.
Elements within a relationship can change over time. There will be both positive and negative energy. As you grow, we will learn to accept both others and yourself. You can learn not to control, but to ask. You can learn that you cannot get all you need from another. You must look within yourself too. Instead of working on the other person, you can learn to work on yourself.
If there are relationships that did not work out in your life, look at them as a learning experience. Looking back, what can you say you learned from that experience? If you do not learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it in some way. The only person you have control over to change is yourself. And if you do learn the lesson, the next relationship is usually an improvement.
Your past should never be considered mistakes. You went through them for a reason. There was some lesson that needed to be learned. They are a means to grow from. Don’t beat yourself up because of the choices you made. Next time make better choices. You are where you need to be right now. Life always guides you along. And if you make a bad decision, it will still guide you to where you need to be. Just become aware of your choices and your place in life right now.
Life, as well as having a relationship, is a process you go through. That process begins with you. Things may have recently changed within your life or you think something has to change to ensure your happiness. Take everything slowly and think it through. Remember, there are no wrong choices, just lessons to be learned. You always have a choice and you will always have a second chance to get it right.
Take responsibility for your choices, your actions and your life. It may be a struggle, but with time you will get better at it. You will begin to see what will be a right or wrong choice in your life. Allow yourself to get close to others while giving your relationships attention and energy. Your relationships are a reflection of how healthy you are. Give yourself the attention and energy you deserve too.
© 2007 Lori Klauser
Visit Lori at: http://loriklauser.com. Receive her free e-book Traveling the Road of Codependency when you sign up for her newsletter. She takes codependency one-step at a time; delivering concepts that help you master healing.
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