Marriage is perhaps the most memorable occasion of your life, along with the birth of your child.
You are in a hurry to set up your own home and decorate it according to your own taste. You want to live life your own way. Marriage is truly a great thing to happen to anyone.
In the next few years, however, cracks begun to surface in many marriages. The partners find that the other’s personality is not what one had bargained for. There are frequent quarrels in the house and an undercurrent of tension pervades in the entire house. That is when things begin to slide toward separation and divorce.
There are many reasons why divorce happens between a married couple and why they decide to go their own separate ways. Extra-marital affairs are a big reason. These are taken as a breach of trust, that is the foundation of the relationship, and few partners are able to forgive the other for having an affair or sexual relationship outside the marriage.
In many marriages there is physical abuse involved. The man may beat the wife or physically assault her when in anger. It is also not unheard of for the wife to throw objects at the husband or even slap or claw him in the heat of the moment. Emotional abuse is more subtle. It is not visible but it is an assault on the mind of the victim. In this, the dominant partner controls the life of the other person completely. It usually involves denial of finances, keeping the victim in the dark about all decisions, not allowing him or her to take up job and forcing the person to do things against his or her wishes.
Lack of wealth is another reason for divorce. One partner finds that the combined marital income is not sufficient to fulfil one’s aspirations and he or she doesn’t want to spend the rest of life in drudgery. They decide to break the relationship and look for someone who has good resources that can finance the lifestyle he or she wants.
Once the partners decide to divorce, there are two options to go about it. If they have managed to reconcile their differences, they can straightaway go for the Do It Yourself (DIY) divorce. Many online companies specialise in this and can get a DIY divorce at a very reasonable price with the partners never having to go to the court for a hearing.
However, when the partners are unable to come to an agreement themselves, there is really no option but to take the case to the court and fight it out with the help of a lawyer. These kinds of divorces are often messy and may cost a lot of money.
Children
Immediately after divorce, the lifestyle of partners changes drastically. Family life abruptly comes to a halt. If there are children involved, then court would have given child custody to only one parent, usually the mother. The responsibility and effort involved in rearing children increase manifold as a single parent has to work much harder. This is because there is no body to share the burden with. Whenever you go out, you have to organise a baby sitter who can keep a watch over children. Also, the single parent has to play the role of both mother and father.
Finances
Immediately after divorce, there is a cash crunch. The family income becomes half as the partners stop sharing their salary with each other. There is a division of property and the house, bank balance and vehicles get equally divided among the partners. Single mothers often face hardships, especially those who do not have great job prospects. Some find it hard to meet expenses and often slip below poverty line.
Emotional Issues
When you divorce, from a couple you become a single individual. With this go all the emotional support that you used to derive from the family atmosphere where all members lived under one roof. There is a feeling of loneliness and lack of intimacy after divorce.
Many people blame themselves for the divorce, suffer from a guilt complex and turn themselves into a nervous wreck. The negative feelings last for years and sometimes professional help of a counsellor is required to get one’s life back on track.
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