When you were in college and into experimenting with a grand many things (of which you thought no one else had experimented with), you and you and your friends have talked about the possibility of having a relationship, or being intimate with the opposite sex. At some point, one of you had piped up that, “Everyone’s bisexual, after all!” and that had been that. You had shrugged that issue off, as you were convinced that you were straight. Besides, you had a longtime boyfriend at the time. But through the years you’ve felt a change. You can’t really say that you’ve become a lesbian, but there was that undeniable attraction to both sexes, and you find that you’re quite curious to HOW it could be like to be with a woman. These thoughts have confused you, and you are often thankful that you’ve been exposed to a diverse mix of friends and colleagues that you know that these feelings are normal and nothing to be afraid of. But being as methodical as you are, you know that you can’t really rush into anything without adequate preparation. For this reason, you decided that should you pursue any kind of lesbian relationship, then you’d do so first by trying it out in the online dating world. And so, you make that little tweak in your dating profile, and it all starts. You start chatting with lesbians, getting to know them, and getting a lot closer to some. You’re also able to chat with others who are trying to explore something so unmapped for them. You’re still not really sure how to classify yourself. You suppose the closest thing would be a bisexual. You don’t like labels, however, and just decide to enjoy the experiences. You say yes to your first meet-up, and then start wondering how this will differ from your “straight” dates. Here are some things I would suggest: - There’s no harm in being politically correct - As you would in any other date, think of conversation pieces in advance just to crack the ice - Just because your date is also a woman doesn’t give her the license to go too fast – and that goes for you, too. Personal space is personal space, and respect is respect - In line with this, make sure you observe the proper dating courtesy per usual. Start with offering to split the bill - Try to be as honest as you can be. Some of your friends have confessed to you that they often felt like they were role-playing. I suppose this would come in one way or the other, but it doesn’t have to be a constant. In no other circumstance should you show who you really are then now Things could progress either way, with various scenarios: - You realize somewhere along the way that you were just curious. Once this curiosity has been sated, you realize that this wasn’t what you wanted, after all, so it ends there - You still feel a bit confused, but feel as if things are progressing just right, so the dating proceeds - You feel confused and scared because you are dealing with alien feelings. Back to the drawing board for you - You are blown away by romance and follow through these dates spectacularly - You are blown away by romance but the romance turns out badly In cases such as the last, you’d have to remember that regardless of gender, some romances are doomed to fail. Remember this lest you forget yourself and castigate your partner with an added slur to her gender. That would be totally below the belt and hurtful. Consider what confusions you went through. Then, consider how difficult it would be if someone berated you for who you really are. More than seeking a thrill, remember to approach lesbian dating with as much sensitivity as possible (while not being too meek and mild, of course!). If you don’t think your maturity is up for this yet, better stick to the boards for now.
Article by Judy Porter, contributing writer for www.girlgirlfishing.com, a free online dating service for lesbian singles. Find the woman of your dreams at GirlGirlFishing.com! Whether you’re looking for a femme, a butch or just a girl who melts your heart, GirlGirlFishing has a pondfull.
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