Develop Deeper Friendships: Any Reason Works
by Donna Doyon
I don't know about you, but every so often I feel the need to hang
out with friends so that I can just laugh, relax, and catch up on
events that don't impact me directly. I had such a night last
night... and it was great! But until a little over a year ago, I
didn't have friends to call on for a "ladies night out."
That changed over a year ago when I invited 6 or 7 women from
various Toastmasters clubs to start a 'mastermind' group.
Our original goal was to explore our creativity and
entrepreneural goals. We had our first meetings and quickly
learned that we were more interested and attuned to the social
aspects of gathering rather than the strategic. At first that
bothered me... You see I am extremely goal oriented. I don't
really know how to have fun unless fun is a means to an end.
And, well, at the risk of sounding like a fuddy-duddy... fun
for fun's sake just usually isn't that fun for me.
But I digress...
Anyway... after the initial disappointment, I celebrated that I
had found this amazing group of friends...
We're all busy so we typically would schedule outings three or
four weeks in advance. But circumstances in my life have changed
recently. My 17-year-old daughter is now driving and has a job,
but she doesn't have her own car. So we have to share two vehicles
between three drivers. Her work schedule is posted only a week
in advance so that puts any long term planning in the trash.
I hesitated to extend an invitation asking these busy women to
join me for dinner and a movie on such short notice, but I
thought, "Hey, these are friends. They can say "no" if they are
busy. But maybe they are just as anxious for some "girl time" as
I am."
So I made calls and sent e-mail notes. Amazingly three of them
had no plans for the evening and were as excited as I was to get
away from life for a few hours.
It would have been easy to just assume that they were too busy
to spend a few hours with me. It would have been easy to just
while away the hours playing Freecell solitaire. But I gained so
much more (including about 5 pounds from eating fried chicken
strips, french fries, and an ice cream sundae) by taking a chance
to call them.
For some of you my hesitation to call on friends will seem absurd.
But I never had friends outside of work, church, or community
groups before. I would see friends in those settings and that was
the only time I saw them. I didn't know how to develop friendships
that went beyond a purpose.
So whether your friendships are purpose-driven or fun-ship
driven... find a reason to call your friends today. Find a
reason to spend some time together. Find a reason... any reason
will work.
Donna Doyon, Activities Coordinator for Your Virtual
Retreat is the author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner
Beauty. She offers information, inspiration and encouragement to
people who want to say goodbye to self defeating attitudes and
behaviors and hello to greater success, healthier relationships and
more joyful living. Get inspired at her website:
http://www.donnadoyon.com.
