Anger is an emotional state instigated by unpleasant event to an individual, which initiates flow of adrenaline and often times involves violent response. Progression of state of anger can be said to follow this pattern; Disappointment, Hurt, Unforgiving spirit, Resentment, Hate and revenge.
People react to anger in diverse ways. Some seek immediate revenge of commensurate proportion by over reacting and saying things they invariably regret or by getting out rightly violent which sometimes result in death. Others may become immediately complacent but become calculating to exert future and more devastating revenge ,whilst others become more philosophical and follow the biblical injunction that says ‘‘vengeance is mine…..and I will revenge’’ and thus leaving vengeance in God’s hands. Whatever the situation, it is pertinent to note that anger if not properly harnessed could result in fruitless waste of energy and deep wound that will take forever to heal. There is no gainsaying that some people embrace anger because it is part of them and cannot help but deal with the invariably regrettable consequences later. It is advisable that this people should be conscious of their peculiarities and work on their oversensitive emotions. Anger breathes resentment which happens when your emotions collide with someone else’s reaction resulting in bitterness which darkens your world and sometimes your joy.
Anytime you are angry, ask yourself the following questions; is my anger constructive or measured? Is my response controlled and gracious? Is it really worth dragging other people into it? Is the relief I will get worth the aftermath?
What are your wounds? Is it old or new? Is it an abusive parent or a cheating spouse or partner or a boisterous deal that has gone sour or an overlooked promotion or a friend’s unpaid debt or children who have forgotten that you exist .whatever the situation, you need to get over it or get even with it. Change the grudge in your life to sludge and let it bring life peace and joy. Conserve your energy for something that counts. Release it and don’t retain it. Let go forgive and move on!
Lastly, learn to live by the four ‘‘R’’s - REFLECT, REPENT, RECTIFY and take RESPONSIBILITY and be guided by these golden rules whenever you are angry.
Move away from the situation
Think before you react
Try to be more tolerant
Look at issues dispassionately
Reverse roles and see your fault
Never say a word in the heat of anger, always allow a cooling period. Step back and take ten full deep breath followed by a cold glass of water before you utter a word.
Try to understand each other’s weaknesses.
Make allowances for each other’s deficiencies
Learn to overlook and FORGIVE.
Let go and let God!
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