People who feel angry often think they are angry because the other person “made them” angry.
This anger management step focuses on the power you have to undo this misconception and choose to deal with angry people in a way that makes life more wonderful for you and others.
4 Anger Resolution Steps from Lori Prokop
To do this, you will identify:
1) Your clear observation without judgment, wrongness or blame
2) Your feelings,
3) Your needs and
4) A clear request.
What is a clear request?
“I want you to be more reliable,” is not clear or achievable.
Why?
Because it leaves the listener having to read your mind and guess exactly what “reliable” means and what you are asking him to do to achieve it.
He may believe he is being reliable by sitting on the couch day after day, because you can rely on the fact you can find him there.
But you may view reliable as getting off the couch and taking out the garbage.
Here is how to transform anger and deal with angry people so you can resolve any problem and get what you want.
The idea is to imagine the other person doing or saying something, right now, that is in agreement with your desire and likely to meet your need.
Ask yourself, “At this moment, exactly what could the person say or do to meet my needs?”
Using the steps from the Lori Prokop Anger Management System, a woman passed over for a promotion becomes:
1) (Observation) Clear about describing the situation without judgment or punishment
2) (Identify Feelings and Needs) She is aware her anger is about the need for recognition, for respect and to feed her family. As she identifies her needs, she finds she is also feeling sad, scared and hopeless.
3) (Request) Aware she needs to make a clear, positive request for action here in the now.
So she may say to her boss, “Would you agree to review with me, within the next week, at least two projects I have already completed that you believe have contributed to improvement in our department?”
You may say, but what if the other person is wrong or at fault? What if they have done something that needs punishment?
This situation is discussed in more detail in the Lori Prokop Anger Management: 10 Steps to Transform Anger and Successfully Deal with Angry People found at www.lori-prokop.com
Learn more about anger management, resolving conflict without giving in, have more love and create what you want. <a href="http://www.loriprokop.com">Lori Prokop </a>presents workshops nationwide on how to create what you want in your life and manifest your desires.
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