Self esteem in most dictionary is defined as self worth. To put it simply it means , how much do you like yourself. So you play a big role in rather you have high self esteem or a low. People around us can effect our self esteem only if we let them. Sometimes the people around us especially the ones we care for can effect us without our being aware that they influenced are thoughts. It is up to the individual just how much influence around them effects how they see them selves.
You can’t always judge someone self esteem by the way they look. Someone that is fat , to skinny, has lots of scars, plain looking, and so on can have a high self esteem. Its how they view them selves that shows up in their personality. Think about it when you meet someone new those that have high self esteem you don’t notice that they are fat, to skinny, have lots of scars, plain looking, and so on. You only see their personality shine though . Those with low self esteem tend to shy away from people afraid that they see their flaws. People with low self esteem are hard on them selves they see more negative than positive side of things. It is a viscous circle and hard to break free of. You can do it , remember your self esteem is depended on you. Only you can change a negative to a positive. It take practice to come naturally but in time it will be easy.
First step is to recognize the negative . You can do this by asking your self questions like ,How do I feel about this?, Am I living with this?, Does this effect others around me?, and How do you rate its importance to maintain my happiness? After you know what it is that you view negative then you can begin to work on turning the negative into a positive.
Say its because your fat that is one of your negatives that effect your self esteem . When you ask how you feel you might reply this makes me feel left out. When asking yourself are you living with it? You might notice that you are living with it only by stuff it with food. Last question does it effect my family , You might notice that you are less active with them. When you really want to do things with them. Can you see the viscous circle ,where do we break it, and how? Let us First look at the first Question.
How do I feel about this? You feel left out, like you don’t belong, outsider, and so on . How are you going turn it around ? First off if you are feeling left out ,not belonging and so forth then you are most likely isolating your self from others. The key in turning it around is to realize that you are not the only fat person. In the USA fat has become more prevalent than skinny. So say to your self I not alone. I do belong and just because I have a weight problem right now doesn’t mean I going to let it stop me from………so on you fill in the blank.
Now that you have tacked the first question start on the others. Am I living with this? I answered that with I was stuffing myself with food, How turn it around? You want say to you self that you don’t need a crutch , that food for you is for nutrients your body needs to stay alive. I won’t let it rule me, I will rule it ,I am in control of my fork!! Don’t be surprised that you don’t recognize that your stuffing your self until you all ready done it Go ahead and say your affirmation any way eventually you will know before and start to stop the stuffing and be able to replace a positive action such as reading, crafts, exercise, and so on.
Last question was Does this effect my family? Turn that around by planning things with your family on a regular base’s Tell your self that their isn’t anything you can share with your family that you have to limit your self for you can do it. You are in control and you feel great.
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