How one responds in a given situation is what truly determines success or failure. Have you ever noticed that successful people respond to situations differently then unsuccessful people? Given the same stimulus, the actions and mindset differ greatly from the average person. Since this is the case, one of the keys to unlocking a tremendous future is to understand how the successful behave.
If we were to list all the scenarios that human being s experience, we would come up with a list of 20-25 things. When studying human behavior, it is quickly realized that human beings and their lives do not differ that greatly. The similarities also cross into various cultures and ethic backgrounds. Basically, we all encounter the same things. It is how each person handles the life situations that create the different experiences.
Here is a brief list of some of the common areas that all people experience in varying degrees.
-Marital/relationship
-Financial
-Physical: health, soreness, illness
-Addiction: smoking, drinking, drugs
-Emotional: depression, fear, worry, guilt, anger, overwhelm
-Family: children, parents
-Time constraints
-Thing issues: car not working, light broken, computer crash, etc…
-Interpersonal: employers, friends, neighbors
-Organizations: IRS, DMV, local government, banks
-Education/knowledge
-Personal Motivation: sloth, procrastination, hesitation
-Spiritual/Philosophical
Naturally there are some other areas that could be added but this gives you an idea of what everyone endures. People in every culture in the world suffer in these areas to some degree. Again, it is how people handle these situations when they arise that separates them. Your most successful people handle these areas a lot better than the unsuccessful.
Before going any further it is important to note that nobody is entirely successful in all these areas all the time. The reverse is also true. No one is completely unsuccessful in all these areas. Typically, we do better in some areas while falling short in other. One may excel in the financial arena while allowing his/her family relationship to suffer. In addition, the aging process changes the issues confronted with. One usually needs to deals with physical issues at 70 that were not there at 20. What you do when confronted with the areas that you fall short in is what determines the quality of your life.
When studying the elite in terms of success, it is interesting to note all of them had failures along the way. In fact, it is concluded that the prominent are the most successful because they failed the most along the way. The average individual’s biggest problem is not failure. The one factor that causes most people’s shortcomings is a lack of trying. It is impossible to win at anything if you are not in the game.
Quitting is also another reason why most tend fall short of the life they desire. A winning philosophy is that there are no failures; there are only successes and lessons. So obviously if you do not get the desired result from an action, then you have a lesson. The only way to make that lesson valuable is to put it into action. Unfortunately, most people feel they failed and want to avoid that in the future, so they stop trying. This completely negates the original action since the lesson is not applied. To make a “failure” a success, it is imperative that one continue along and put the lesson into practice.
Here is an example of a guy giving up. He and his wife invested in real estate for a few years. They focused on fixing houses up and selling at a profit (a.k.a. flipping). They did this with 5 or 6 houses, selling each at an excellent profit. The real estate market was strong at the time so making money was easy. However, the market turned as they were involved in 2 other projects. The first had to be sold at a $10,000 loss and the second ended up going back to the bank. Needless to say, this discouraged them from any other real estate transactions.
What do you think this guy did? Previously he was attending to their real estate holdings by doing the work himself. After the “failure” on the last two properties, he went a got a job. Unfortunately, he did not get something to hold them over until things turned around. He found something that he could do for the next 20 years until he retired. The disempowering factor in all of this is that they will never be able to apply the lessons of the last two properties. All the previous and future successes are discarded. They are using the “loss” as the reason for walking away from this investment avenue completely.
Please do not think that I am making the case that having a job is bad or this man returning to the workforce is a bad decision. What this example illustrates is how the situation was handled. This particular couple decided to pack up and not invest in that arena anymore. They are soured on the real estate market after a couple of losses. The same thing happens in the stock market, romance, and just about anything else we will try in life. It is a fact that we will not be correct 100% of the time. We will make mistakes; the key is to learn and grow from them. That is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.
Donald Trump makes some poor real estate decisions. Warren Buffett has bought losing stocks. The same is true for George Soros. Peyton Manning throws interceptions. Alex Rodriquez strikes out. Each of top “players” fails periodically. However, the difference is that they do not allow it to keep them down. And they certainly do not leave the game because of the failures.
An interesting item was brought to my attention the other day. Professional athletes are masters at what they do. Of all the people who played an organized sport, they make up a remarkably small percentage. Their physical ability is unquestioned. Yet equally as talented is their mental ability. The way professional athletes rebound from failure is a lesson to us all. Rarely will you see a career end because of a bad outing.
Professional basketball was started in the early part of the last century. Teams are judged by their advancement in the playoffs. The same is true for the players. Certain individuals gained the reputation as being “crunch-time” performers-the ones who wanted the ball at the end. Michael Jordon and Larry Bird were prime examples of this. It is their performance under the increased scrutiny that gives them the acclaim.
Over the years, there was thousands of NBA playoff games played. Over that time, many players have endured less than spectacular endings to their season. Many players had awful final games, costing their team the victory and the advancement to the next round. The interesting part is that all of them have bounced back to continue their stellar careers with the exception of two. These two, Nick Anderson and John Starks, were no where the players they were before the complete failure. In essence, their playing careers ended. Everyone else was able to move beyond the experience.
This astounding fact shows how the top athletes respond to failure. It is not something that they let get them down. In fact, in many instances it is the main motivator for improvement in the offseason. The individual is determined to come back better the next year. Mentally these people are conditioned to use examples such as this to propel them forward. This incredible ratio exemplifies how the trained mind of an athlete can overcome all setbacks. They are conditioned for success and expect it in every situation that they are in.
Are You Motivated or Are You Defeated?
With the exception of two, each basketball player was motivated by their season ending setback. The “defeat” that they experienced was temporary. It was used as a tool to enable the athlete to work harder and get better. Do you have this same approach to your life? Are you one who gets motivated when things do not go as you hope or do you allow the situation to defeat you?
The example of our real estate investor is a typical response to “failure”. You have probably noticed by now that everything we are focusing on the mental side of the equation. It is true that the successful people take different actions. However, that is an outcome of the fact that their thinking is different. The choice of the investor to get a job is not the issue. The true issue is the thought process that led to his decision.
Let’s illustrate how the thought process is the same whether we are dealing with real estate or professional sports. Early in his career, Michael Jordon and the Bulls were defeated by the Detroit Pistons in the playoffs. This happened a couple of years in a row on the way to the Pistons winning NBA titles. Naturally, Jordon was the centerpiece of the Bulls. Thus, much of the success or failure of the team fell on his shoulders. Yet it was his mindset that ultimately paved the way for 6 titles.
What happened if Jordon had the mindset of our investor? What actions would he have taken that differed from what really occurred? If he was like our investor, after the second loss he would have complained to management that he can’t win with these players. He may have decided that the Pistons simply that much better and were not going to be beaten so he would have to accept it. In essence, he would have determined that a NBA title was not possible thus quitting on that dream.
Obviously Michael Jordon did not do that. So what was his mindset instead? He decided that he was going to win a title no matter what it took. He was already arguably the best player in the game at the time so raising his level of play was not really an option in the opinion of most. Fortunately for the Bulls, those opinions were wrong. Jordon elevated his game from the best in the game to, perhaps, the best of all time. He made his teammates better by helping them elevate their game. The Bulls overtook the Pistons to win the title. And, instead of going home, by the end of the decade Jordan won 6 NBA titles.
Let’s reverse the situation for a moment. What if our real estate investor had the same mindset that Michael Jordon did? How would his response been different? It is quite possible that the financial situation necessitated getting a job. That choice might not change regardless of the mindset. Yet how would his thinking towards future investments in real estate differed?
He might have started by focusing on all the success they had in real estate in the past. Perhaps he would have tried to determine what mistakes were made with the two properties that cost them. Did they overextend themselves so they were not protected in the event of a downturn? Perhaps they got involved with some of the wrong people? Or maybe they did it all correct and the market forces went against them in this instance. However, in the end, with a different mindset, they learn from their losses to use that knowledge to make money the next time in real estate. “Packing up and going home” would not be the solution.
It is important to notice how the change in mindset in the identical situations creates huge differences in the outcome. The same is true in your life also. Everyday we are confronted with circumstances that are not to our liking. In each of these, we must determine do we let this get us down or do we resolve to overcome it. Much of this is decided by the habitual way we are accustomed to thinking. By changing the way we approach setbacks, we automatically change the actions we take which changes the results we enjoy.
It is important for you to adopt this success philosophy. The biggest lesson that professional athletes give us is that they expect success. Expect success in every area of your life. Accept that challenges will come along the way; that is a part of life. However, resolve not to let these issues get the better of you by causing you to make decisions that are not in your best interest. Monitor the mindset because it is the critical component to all achievement. This is how we become a superstar in our own lives.
Dennis Harting is the Head Coach at Your Rich Life. He is an acclaimed speaker, trainer, and best-selling author. His international best selling books include Your Easiest Million and The Ultimate Procrastination Handbook. His programs and more information can be found at www.yourrichlifeinc.com
Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed herein are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the views of ArticlePros.com and/or its partners.
