Speaking in front of others can be empowering, energizing, and often essential for success in your career or to persuade others that something should be done. Most people have the opportunity at some point, whether it’s giving a toast at a wedding, a pep talk to a sports team, a bar mitzvah talk to a congregation, a presentation at town meeting, or a formal talk to conventioneers.
Is it possible to get over a fear of speaking? Of course! People do it every day, and so can you!
A key ingredient for losing your fear:
Care for your audience. As you’re planning to give your talk stop thinking about being nervous and how you’re going to perform, and instead think only about your audience. Find out as much as you can about them. Then consider these questions:
Why have they come together as a group?
What’s in it for them to listen to you?
What are they expecting from you?
Once you have a feel for what they’re expecting, your job as speaker is to fulfill those expectations, whether it’s for information, entertainment, instruction, or an experience. Put yourself in their shoes – they’re expecting a speaker who confidently and engagingly shares interesting information with them. So as long as that’s what they get from you, they’ll concentrate on what you say and not on you as a person. If you’re a local celebrity, they’ll be expecting stories about you – so share them. Giving them what they expect actually takes their attention off you as a person and onto your information or the experience you’re sharing with them. You may feel like an actor at first, but keep concentrating on your audience’s needs and expectations, and soon you’ll lose your fear.
Of course, to have the audience focus on your message, you need to have a good talk!
So what do you say?
Once you’ve pinned down who your audience is and why they’re there, you can come up with the main point of your talk – the one sentence answer to the question, “What’s the talk about?”
For instance, let’s say you’re a professional musician who’s been asked to talk to teachers about improving arts education in the public schools. They may want to know how to find musicians who can bring their instruments to classrooms to give kids a hands-on experience.
Once you’ve got your one-sentence main point (“Contact local orchestras and chamber groups to find musicians who can come to your classroom”), you can build your whole talk around it. Make sure to tell stories (“I once played my cello in a third grade classroom and…”), bring in some data (“studies show that children who meet musicians in person often want to play an instrument”), and get your audience involved (“How many of you learned an instrument because you met a musician when you were young?).
At the end of the talk remind them of your main point and where they can get the local information they need. If you take questions from the audience, make sure to close the session with a repetition of your main point so it’s the last thing people hear. In fact, they should hear your main point many times and in many ways: at the beginning of your talk, in the body of it as you bring in new ideas, and at the end.
Presentation tips:
Now that you have a fabulous talk, it’s vital that your body language supports rather than sabotages you. As soon as you arrive at the venue your body language is giving the preamble to your actual presentation. So, as you walk into the building stand up straight, hold your head up, and smile. When you’re speaking, look audience members in the eyes, (no top-of-head-skimming!), keep hands out of pockets, don’t fiddle with your hair or tap with your pen. To keep the focus on your talk instead of you as a person, wear appropriate clothing that doesn’t draw attention to itself. This isn’t the time to wear glittery fishnets or a chartreuse shirt!
Tell your talk -- don’t read it word for word! If you need to look at notes, just jot down one-word reminders or short phrases. Reading a whole talk is the quickest way to put your audience to sleep. Even if you stumble a bit, it’s more natural and communicative to just say your talk than read it.
Do remember to breathe! Deep breaths, down below your waist, will help keep you calm and your voice under control. Drink room-temperature water to keep your mouth moist.
If you focus on your audience and your audience’s needs – actually care for them – you’re not focusing on yourself. If you’re not focusing on yourself, you won’t be nervous. It’s simple. It just takes practice!
Lisa Dale Jones is an experienced public speaking and communications coach with extensive national and international experience. She has conducted speech training and media workshops for professional speakers in London, Vienna, Heidelberg, Johannesburg, Washington DC, and Boston.
For many years she was an award-winning producer and on-air talent for Monitor Radio, the broadcast edition of The Christian Science Monitor. For over four years she was Assistant Manager, in charge of speaker training, and chief editor for the Board of Lectureship, an international spirituality speakers bureau based in Boston.
She lives in Brookline, Massachusetts.
Copyright 2007. Speaking With Soul. All Rights Reserved.
